“We look at ourselves in this waiting moment—the kinds of people we are.”
Psalm 40
“I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the desolate pit,[a]
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.
4 Happy are those who make
the Lord their trust,
who do not turn to the proud
to those who go astray after false gods.
5 You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
none can compare with you.
Were I to proclaim and tell of them,
they would be more than can be counted.
6 Sacrifice and offering you do not desire,
but you have given me an open ear.[b]
Burnt offering and sin offering
you have not required.
7 Then I said, “Here I am;
in the scroll of the book it is written of me.[c]
8 I delight to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart.”
9 I have told the glad news of deliverance
in the great congregation;
see, I have not restrained my lips,
as you know, O Lord
10 I have not hidden your saving help within my heart,
I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
from the great congregation.
11 Do not, O Lord, withhold
your mercy from me;
let your steadfast love and your faithfulness
keep me safe forever.
12 For evils have encompassed me
without number;
my iniquities have overtaken me,
until I cannot see;
they are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails me.
13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me;
O Lord, make haste to help me.
14 Let all those be put to shame and confusion
who seek to snatch away my life;
let those be turned back and brought to dishonor
who desire my hurt.
15 Let those be appalled because of their shame
who say to me, “Aha, Aha!”
16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
say continually, “Great is the Lord!”
17 As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God.”
Ephesians 2:4-10
“But God, who is rich in mercy, out of the great love with which he loved us 5 even when we were dead through our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God— 9 not the result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.”
Reflection:
I want Howard Thurman to be wrong. I want everyone that’s said it’s good to be still, meditate, or find a place apart to also be wrong. Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Martin Luther King Jr., Oprah, my therapist – all misguided, surely. Unfortunately for me, research shows how silence, stillness, and moments of reflection help to retrain our brains to be more compassionate and tolerant towards ourselves and others. From a spiritual perspective, quiet and stillness help us connect to that which is divine within us.
For me, getting to a space of quiet contemplation feels like the 40th Psalm. I’m in the mud and mire…except I’m not waiting patiently as the scripture suggests. Squirming, I only sink deeper into the muck. Eventually, God came to the rescue through the words of Acoustic Ecologist Gordon Hempton[1]: “Real quiet is not an absence of sound, but [an absence] of noise,” he says. The absence of my phone dinging, not the absence of my natural movement. Check. I don’t actually have to be still. But then we come to the real problem of why I find quiet contemplation so intolerable. Gordon continues, “Silence is the ‘think tank’ of the soul. It takes us to a very deep place...” That place can seem dangerous, and it requires immense vulnerability to visit. Sometimes, it requires that we do battle with our own armor – the swords, shields, and masks that we’ve carefully sharpened, pounded, and fastened to fit just right over the places we feel weakest. That armor is heavy and perfectly tailored; how do we even begin to take it off?
God through Gordon Hempton saves me again: “We don’t need to answer silence. We can just be with the silence…And when we’re truly listening, we also might become changed by what we have heard.” That’s the real, meaty, wrestle it to the ground like Jacob and the angel truth – we don’t have to do anything. The silence, and God in that silence, takes off our armor and lifts us out of the slimy pit. Our only job is to find the type of quiet that works best for us, that creates resonance.
Sitka Spruce, which grows in Southeast Alaska, is used in a majority of acoustic instruments because of its natural ability to resonate when excited by sound energy. However, it doesn’t need us to play, craft, or shape it in order to produce song. The logs of fallen trees can reverberate on their own when struck by the force of the wind, waves, or whatever other energy source comes their way.[2] They create music by just being. Like nature’s logs, let God’s energy shape you in silence. Let it allow you to reverberate with the knowledge that by just being, you are a song.
- Reflection by Douglas Kennedy.
Douglas Kennedy is a wanderer, wordsmith, and storyteller. To find his voice, he helps others discover their own. You can find more of his writing at queerwanderings.com.
[1] Quotes by Gordon Hempton were taken from his interviews with Krista Tippett & Chris Morgan.
[2] Gordon Hempton introduced me to this idea; to hear a recording of nature playing the Sitka Spruce.
The Way of Beauty:
“From a spiritual perspective, quiet and stillness help us connect to that which is divine within us.” Sit in front of a mirror and look at yourself. While looking at yourself listen to the clip of the Sitka Spruce. Once the clip is done, reflect on the silence and acknowledge the Divine within you. Give gratitude to the Divine for dwelling in you.
The Contemplative Mystical Way:
Sit comfortably in the sacred space you created on day one. Remember you are rooted all the way down to the Source and Author of all selfless and transformative Love, our beautiful God. Today, strengthen yourself by trusting enough to rest in God’s loving heart, and practice the meditation linked here, remembering the boundless grace of our God. Carry this Grace with you all day. You are rooted and transformed, and God has placed Eternity in the Holy Spirit which dwells within the beautiful finitude of your body.
The Way of Practical Action:
Check on your plant if you haven’t already, it may have broken through the top of the soil by now. Consider how wonderful it is to watch something come to life. Using your labyrinth drawing from yesterday (go back and look if you don’t have it). Place your finger at the beginning of the journey and read the line of Thurman’s poem for today. At each turn in the journey you should stop for a few moments/minutes depending on your time and clear your mind. Imagine a blank piece of paper. Don’t leave that spot until your mind is clear. As you approach the center allow yourself to consider the quote from today more fully. Who are you in this moment?
Prayer:
God of all, Creator, Transformer, and our blazing source of Love. Thank you for coating us in grace, so that the eyes with which we see ourselves and each other are the very eyes of Christ. Give us the trust to know you see us fully and love us with utter faithfulness. Help us to do the same to You and to all others. Amen.
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